Planning for the End of Life | For All Adults


This Guide to Five Wishes* provides an opportunity to:

  • Gain a sense of control as you create a personal action plan
  • Better understand your feelings and insights related to death and dying
  • Provide guidance – a real gift – to your family, friends and heirs.
  • Complete the nationally recognized end of life planning tool  ‘Five Wishes’ which:
    • covers personal, spiritual, medical and legal wishes all in one document.
    • enables your family or caregiver to know exactly what you want, so they don’t have to guess
    • ‘Five Wishes’ is legally valid in nearly every state, including N.C.

Preparation

Visit The Conversation Project  website: theconversationproject.org

See the The Conversation Project videos page: https://theconversationproject.org/videos

Download & print, or review online, the Conversation Project document: What Matters to Me

OVERVIEW | Five Wishes – www.fivewishes.org

  • Download & print, or review online, a SAMPLE Five Wishes document:  SAMPLE Five Wishes document
  • The actual Five Wishes document is available at cost in a print or electronic version. Click to order either the Paper or Digital Versions from the Five Wishes website.
  • The Five Wishes document is legally valid in almost all states, including North Carolina. Some states require specific additional forms or mandatory notices.

Below are resources including Worksheets to help you complete the Five Wishes document. You may choose to retain your completed worksheets alongside your completed Five Wishes document.

WISH 1

Who do I want to make health care decisions for me if I can’t make them for myself.

Actions: Pick your health care agent(s).

WISH 2

What Kind of medical treatment do I want? What kind of treatment do I definitely not want?

Actions: Provide guidance to potential caregivers. Define what ‘Life-Support Treatment’ means to you.
Resources:

WISH 3

What kind of physical comfort do I want as my life draws to a close?
Actions: Indicate your choices on the A Good Death worksheet.
Resource: A Good Death worksheet. To download and/or print click here: A_Good_Death

WISH 4

What do I want people to know about how I wish to be treated as my life draws to a close?
Actions: Indicate your choices on the A_Good_Death worksheet (same as worksheet in Wish 3).

WISH 5

What do I want my loved ones to know to help them deal with my eventual death?

Actions: Indicate your choices on the Creating a Legacy worksheet and the  Celebration of Life worksheet.

Actions To Complete The Document

Actions: In the presence of two witnesses:

  • Sign your Five Wishes document
  • Have the witnesses also sign
  • Have the document Notarized (as required in North Carolina)

What To Do After You Complete Five Wishes

Actions:

  • Review the seven action items listed at the end of the Five Wishes document.
  • Annually review your Five Wishes document  to keep it up to date with your wishes. 

Resources:
 End of Life Planning Websites

    • Compassion and Choices – Click here
    • 11 Things to do Before You Die (LegalZoom) – Click here
    • Five Wishes – Click here
    • Barbara Karnes (bkbooks.com)– Click here
      Includes end of life materials for families and professionals. Helpful blog as well.  May sign up for newsletter too.
    • The Secretary of State for NC – Click here
      The Secretary of State for NC provides documents that you can download and a system for registering/filing them.
    • Center for Death Education – Click here

COMMUNICATING WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

  • Begin the Conversation – Click here
  • The Conversation Project – Click here
  • Caring Bridge – Click here
    CaringBridge is a free online tool for sharing health updates. It is an easy way to communicate health news to family and friends—all in one place.
  • Lessons I’ve Learned from the Dying by Diane Button – Click here (Source: Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper)
  • Being Mortal by Atul Gawande, “…the ultimate goal is not a good death but a good life – all the way to the very end.” For description –  Click here

For more extensive ‘Additional Resources ‘ click here.

*UUCWNC’s Guide to ‘Five Wishes’ is based on a series of 2024- 2025 UUCWNC Workshops focused on End of Life Planning.

*This is the Irish Hospice Foundation’s End-of-Life Symbol.  The three stranded white spiral represents the interconnected cycle of life: birth, life and death. The white outer circle represents continuity, infinity and completion. The purple background color is associated with nobility, solemnity and spirituality. A universally recognized symbol, it’s inspired by ancient Irish history and is not associated with any one religion or denomination. Click to view Guidelines for use of Irish Hospice Foundation’s End-Of-Life Symbol.