Final Wishes Resources for Presenters

For PRESENTERS:

Goals for the Five Wishes Workshop

We hope to create a safe space:

  • Share thoughts, feelings, and insights about this phase in our lives
  • Provide information, resources, support and encouragement to complete various tasks related to end of life planning
  • Share ideas, successes, challenges and concerns related to end of life planning
  • Create a personal action plan to accomplish one’s goals while also acting as accountability for others in the group

Norms: some general guidelines that will create a safe, supportive environment (confidentiality, awareness of time limits when sharing, etc)

  • Start on time
  • Allow one person to speak at a time
  • Give everybody time to talk; share the air time
  • Stay on topic
  • Be open-minded; try on new ideas
  • Listen with curiosity
  • Value each person’s unique ideas and experiences
  • Disagree respectfully. If disagreed with, don’t take it personally
  • Keep personal comments said during the session confidential

DIGEST ENTRY FROM PRESENTERS:  This example is from Feb. 20, 2025 Newsletter

Information Session for Final Wishes Group, March 2

Over the past years, Quest has offered sessions focused on various aspects of end-of-life planning.  From the pragmatic to the reflective, each session invited participants into what some call Life’s Most Important Conversation, while others refer to it as “the Elephant in the Room”. In other words, Death. More precisely, our own.

While many of us committed to do more end-of-life planning after each of these Quest sessions, even with the best intentions it was easy to procrastinate. Based on requests for more support, direction, and encouragement to renew this commitment, over the past few years we have offered a four-session (one session per month for four months) guided discussion group to help each of us become more intentional and responsible for end-of-life planning.

The next Final Wishes Group will be held the 4th Thursday of each month from 3:00-5:00pm in Dobkin Hall, from March 27 through June 26.  If you are interested in learning more about the Final Wishes Group, we are offering a brief FWG Information Session on Sunday, March 2, in the Sanctuary immediately following the service. (note: Because there is a limit to the Final Wishes Group size, people who attend the Introduction Session will be given preference.)

If you cannot attend but would like more information, you can contact Betsy Randall-David, Robin Middleton, or send an email to finalwishes@uucwnc.org.  Additional information about the Final Wishes Group is available on  our website:  https://uucwnc.org/final/

Handout for the Information Session for Final Wishes Group

This Handout example is from March 2, 2025.  Click to download HANDOUT as PDF

NOTE to PRESENTERS

Each Workshop is unique, as such, different topics may arise requiring information not necessarily covered within the Final Wishes Workshop framework.

The websites / resources listed below are provided as references for PRESENTERS who may be seeking further background information to address unique topics of interest to a particular workshop group. 

The Resources  below are NOT listed on the main Participants Final Wishes webpage. but may, of course, be shared with the participants if the presenters find them pertinent.

PRACTICAL CONCERNS

Digital Death: Are you prepared for your loved ones to handle your electronic identity after you die? This page talks about some of the steps that you can take to make sure your Facebook account can be taken care of after your death, in the ways that feel most right to you.

Getting Your Affairs In Order: A publication of the National Institute on Aging about the important documents you’ll want to have, from personal records, to financial records, to important legal documents. This is the place to find a checklist for them all.

I’m Dead. Now What?  Peter Pauper Press, read summary on GoodReads

OBITUARY WRITING RESOURCES

Examples of Obituaries from our UUCWNC Congregation

  • View obituaries for cherished UUCWNC members: Tim Gugan and Rita Halley:   Click here

Resources:

Advance Care Planning Resources 

Advance care planning is covered by Medicare as part of your annual wellness visit. If you have private health insurance, check with your insurance provider.

American Bar Association Tool Kit for Health Card Advanced Planning

Mayo Clinic Advance Health Care Planning: Making Your Wishes Known

National Institute on Aging:

  • Advance Care Planning Note: Talk with your doctor about advance directives.
  • End of Life: Helping With Comfort and Care: Helping Someone You Love: An extended publication of the National Institute on Aging that provides guidance on a wide range of end of life issues, from understanding terms like palliative care and hospice, to questions to ask, helpful things to offer, and resources related to grief and grieving.
  • Getting Your Affairs In Order: A publication of the National Institute on Aging about the important documents you’ll want to have, from personal records, to financial records, to important legal documents. This is the place to find a checklist for them all

END OF LIFE PLANNING – BOOKS 

Advice for Future Corpses by Sallie Tisdale, read summary on GoodReads

By Your Side, A Guide for Caring for the Dying at Home by Barbara Karnes, RN, read summary on GoodReads

Dear Death: Finding Meaning in Life, Peace in Death, and Joy in an Ordinary Day by Diane R. Button, read summary on GoodReads

For you When I Am Gone: Twelve Essential Questions to Tell a Life Story by SteveLeder, read summary on GoodReads

Hard Choices for Loving People by Hank Dunn, read summary on GoodReads

Let’s Talk About Death by Michael Hebb, read summary on GoodReads

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen, read summary on GoodReads

Life Stories: The book of Obituaries by Susan Oleson, read summary on GoodReads

The End-of-Life Handbook: A Compassionate Guide to Connecting with and Caring for a Dying Loved One by David Feldman and S. Andrew Lasher, read summary on GoodReads

Additional Resources 

Compassion & Choices, a national group whose mission is to educate about and expand options regarding end-of-life care:

Death over Dinner.  Begin a conversation… It all started with a University of Washington graduate course called Let’s Have Dinner and Talk About Death…

End of Life Rituals A TED talk: – “Why we still need ritual” by Tiu De Haan, TEDxHeythropCollege. Click here to view on YouTube

Final Exit Network:In case healthcare providers will not honor dementia advanced directives. Final Exit Network (FEN) has created a new advance directive (AD) designed to prevent dying people from being kept alive against their wishes, long after dementia has eradicated their former selves. Click here

Medic-Alert”(M-A) Emergency Medical Information Record: You wear a “Medic-Alert” badge (discreetly) at all times.  In case of an emergency, this M-A badge serves to inform first responders & others about your  medical history/ information. Click to view their website.   M-A charges annually for their services.

North Carolina: UNC Health System Advanced Planning Guidance   UNC Health is a not-for-profit integrated health care system owned by the state of North Carolina and based in Chapel Hill.

Personal Health Record (PHR): When an emergency happens, whether it’s a heart attack or a hurricane, it’s critical that medical service providers have access to health information for anyone who needs assistance.  To read Mayo Clinic article regarding PHR: Click here

NATIONAL RESOURCES 

Advance Care Directive: Find out everything you want to know about, and then prepare an advance care directive that you can provide to your family and doctors so they know what you want if you can’t tell them in person. Or, if you are a US Service Veteran, click here for a VA specific page on advance care directives.

End of Life: Helping With Comfort and Care: Helping Someone You Love: An extended publication of the National Institute on Aging that provides guidance of a wide range of end of life issues, from understanding terms like palliative care and hospice, to questions to ask, helpful things to offer, and resources on getting care for yourself in your grief.

Medical Orders for Scope of Treatment (MOST): Take this form to your primary care physician to remember to talk to your physician about what medical care you want. You can’t fill the form out on your own, but you can take it with you and get a copy at your doctor’s office (usually bright green), and put it on your refrigerator for easy access should it ever be needed.

Presenters, imagine the impact of your work. Thank you!